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Doctor Who: Warriors of the Deep (parts three and four)

Say what you will about “Warriors of the Deep,” but it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Ingrid Pitt try to kick a pantomime horse to death.

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Doctor Who: Warriors of the Deep (parts one and two)

Our son tells us “there are two adjectives to describe this story: exciting and creepy!” That’s very generous of him. I’d have gone with “embarrassing and idiotic” myself.

“Warriors of the Deep” is the third and last serial for Doctor Who written by Johnny Byrne. It features the return of director Pennant Roberts, who never could stage a gunfight and, as we see here, still can’t. It also sort of features the return of the Silurians and the Sea Devils, only they’ve both been redesigned to look stupider and more fake than they did in the seventies, and the actors inside the ungainly costumes have been given instructions to move and talk as slowly as possible. I mean, the Silurians of 1970 moved and shouted like they were incredibly angry and frightened. These Silurians move and talk like they are drunk and the walls won’t stop moving.

Into all this mess, we’ve got a TARDIS that can get blasted out of orbit by a 21st-century satellite, a Doctor who is acting absolutely unhinged and decides to overload a nuclear reactor as a distraction, and returning villains scripted by a writer whose research went no further than a paragraph summary of the earlier stories in a Jean-Marc Lofficier guidebook. And there’s Ingrid Pitt and a pantomime horse.

Six weeks before this was shown, Doctor Who celebrated its twentieth anniversary, leading some bean counters and muckity-mucks at the BBC to ask, not unreasonably, why in heaven they’d let this silly show run for twenty years. Maybe twenty years was long enough, some of them said. Then this gets on the air.

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The House That Dripped Blood (1971)

I read about this film and decided that I’d give it a spin by myself before showing the last segment to our son. I understood that the movie, written by Robert Bloch, was comprised of four segments: three traditional horror episodes before ending with one a little more lighthearted. This is true, and I enjoyed the heck out of it, but those first three are way too frightening for our gentle son. The last one, though, was just right.

The sadly defunct Amicus studio was Hammer’s biggest rival in making horror films between 1965 and 1974. Amicus’s big specialty was the “portmanteau,” an anthology film with four segments and a framing story. In The House That Dripped Blood, a police inspector from Scotland Yard comes to investigate the disappearance of a movie star. A local sergeant and the home’s estate agent tell him three terrifying tales that took place in the same house, setting up stories that star Denholm Elliot and Joanna Dunham, Peter Cushing and Joss Ackland, and Christopher Lee and Nyree Dawn Porter. Amicus could get these big name actors in because each segment took maybe a week or ten days to film. And they’re hugely entertaining, although far too frightening for our kid at this age!

The fourth story is just right, and it has a completely terrific cast full of faces he’s seen recently. The movie star is Jon Pertwee and he buys his cursed cloak from Geoffrey Bayldon! Plus, there’s Ingrid Pitt, who he’s seen in “The Time Monster,” and Roy Evans, from “The Green Death” and “The Monster of Peladon.” The police inspector is John Bennett, from “Invasion of the Dinosaurs.” This segment was made in between Pertwee and Bayldon’s first seasons of Doctor Who and Catweazle, and of course the actors would be reunited about eight years later in Worzel Gummidge, playing the scarecrow and his creator.

…not, of course, that our kid actually recognized anybody other than Pertwee, even with a heads-up at dinner about who to look out for!

The whole movie is really entertaining, and it builds really well, with each episode more fun than the previous one. Pertwee is having a hoot as a temperamental, egotistical movie star who has nothing kind to say about the low-budget movie that’s hired him, with a former – gasp – television director in charge. The sets are too flimsy, the costumes are too new, and horror films are no good anymore anyway. This “new fellow” they’ve got playing Dracula these days isn’t a patch on Bela Lugosi.

The movie star buys his own cloak for thirteen shillings from a strange costumier to bring a little authenticity to this silly movie – it’s called Curse of the Bloodsuckers – and then things start getting a little weird. The story builds to an amusing twist, and the police inspector goes to this blasted cottage to see what he can find there.

That’s where I left it. I did want our son to get a good night’s sleep! But should you, dear reader, investigate this house for yourself, do continue on and see what comes next. Pleasant dreams!

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Doctor Who: The Time Monster (part six)

Well, there certainly was a lot that could have been done better in this last half hour, but I enjoyed that a lot. Spending the middle two episodes on what might best be called whimsy means that this story has a heck of a lot to tie up in a hurry. It’s rushed and, when Kronos unconvincingly destroys Atlantis, it really looks and feels like the director just said “that’s good enough,” because they had quite a lot more to tape.

But that scene in the dungeon! Jon Pertwee and Katy Manning are just magical together. It’s a beautiful little scene where the Doctor tells a story about an old hermit who lived on the mountain behind his boyhood home, and it’s just perfect. I love the Doctor becoming a storyteller instead of just dropping goofy anecdotes about Venusians. I love the way he seems to slip and refer to the story as “the first time I heard it,” as though it might not really have happened to him, it’s just an old, old story that’s taken on special meaning as he got older. We’ll never know, and that’s just fine.

Meanwhile, in short attention span theater, we asked our son what his favorite and least favorite parts of the whole adventure were, and they were apparently both in the final part. He loved the Doctor dueling with the minotaur – that’s future Darth Vader Dave Prowse under the mask – and hated the Master briefly becoming king of Atlantis. Overall, he said this story was “kind of a yes,” and I don’t agree. To my considerable surprise, the flaws don’t dampen the hugely entertaining adventure. It’s my favorite story of season nine, and it’s absolutely a yes.

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Doctor Who: The Time Monster (part five)

All right, so finally we get to Atlantis, and some juicy material with meat on it. It’s still very flawed – they gave George Cormack all the best lines and then let him deliver them like an old stage ham playing to the cheap seats, for starters – but still huge fun.

In one of the most interesting casting choices of the era, Queen Galleia is played by Ingrid Pitt. In the two years prior to making “The Time Monster,” she had starred in a pair of phenomenally entertaining Hammer films, The Vampire Lovers and Countess Dracula. Jon Pertwee apparently suggested her for the part. In between seasons seven and eight, he and Pitt appeared together in one of the segments of an anthology horror film from Amicus, The House That Dripped Blood, which I really do need to get a copy of one of these days. Galleia’s handmaiden Lakis is played by a young Susan Penhaligon, who had a long and very successful acting career ahead of her.

And speaking of what’s ahead for the actors, about five months after they made this story, Ingrid Pitt and Donald Eccles, who plays the High Priest, would work together in another phenomenally entertaining horror movie, The Wicker Man.

Anyway, Pertwee and Pitt don’t share any screen time in this episode, but Galleia’s alliance with the Master takes center stage. He’s criminally smooth, taking advantage of her lust for sex and power, and Delgado and Pitt are very, very fun to watch together. That said, there’s enough onscreen evidence both in previous and future stories for us to know that this cannot possibly end well for Galleia even if the Master’s suggestion of ruling Atlantis together was honest. I don’t mind; it’s so fun to watch Pitt and Delgado work together.

Meanwhile, our son didn’t have quite as much to giggle about in this episode, but he certainly caught the reference to the minotaur. It led to a surprisingly effective cliffhanger when it appears that Jo is in danger and the bull-headed beast will attack her. He watched with attention, needing a little clarity about which unfamiliar Greek name goes to which character, before getting wide-eyed with worry at the end. A very satisfying half-hour!

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