Young Indiana Jones 2.3 – Verdun, 1916

When ABC showed those first six weeks of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles in the spring of 1992, they got a reputation of being strange, unlike anything else on television, not even remotely as funny as the badly-edited commercials made them appear, and full of men with really thick French accents. And then there was the violence. One of those “won’t somebody please think of the children” organizations went apoplectic over this episode, which honestly is quite violent and visceral.

The previous two installments, which were written, like this one, by Jonathan Hensleigh, had some very well-staged war movie-like mayhem, with explosions and gunfire and heroic acts of bravery. But this is right in the center of the action, with slow-motion carnage, huge amounts of gore, field hospitals full of men who have had their legs blown into bloody stumps, bodies in mud-filled foxholes being savaged by rats, and the amazing sight of Indy, sent across No Man’s Land at night to spy, crawling across corpses and meeting a fatally wounded man who has been lying there alone for 36 hours just waiting for somebody to finally see him die.

Like war really is. How dare teevee depict it thus?

I wasn’t too surprised. The show’s principal detractor was the most loudmouthed of all numbskulls, that discredited psychiatrist who spent years whining about Dungeons & Dragons driving teens to suicide. Those creeps were all over the place in the seventies and eighties, and desperately tried to stay in the headlines in the nineties. Incidentally, as of July 2018, the dude I’m talking about is currently doing time for what the Pennsylvania Attorney General calls (ahem) “trading opioid addiction treatment drugs for sex.” The harder they fall, you know?

Anyway, it’s a powerful episode. Our son started out thrilled by the explosions, but the grisly and raw visuals didn’t leave him cheering like he might. He was fascinated by the gigantic howitzers that were mounted on railroad cars, and enjoyed seeing Indy, assigned to work as a motorcycle courier, speed away from a German biplane, but the politics were a stumbling block. It’s also worth noting that they hired French actors for most of the roles of officers, and some of them really did have incredibly thick accents. My wife’s language skills dwarf mine, and even she had trouble understanding what Bernard Fresson and Jean Rougerie were saying. So we quickly accepted that our son would just bide his time, eyes glazed, until Indy got on his motorcycle again.

One other thing to note this time: watching these on first broadcast was certainly a pain in the neck, but introducing us to Indy as a corporal when the last time we saw him on ABC he had only just been called up was incredibly annoying. And then there’s Remy, who we meet in the field hospital having a panic attack as he recovers from surgery. ABC didn’t air the episode where he got that injury for another six months. Then they wouldn’t air the next episode in the sequence for another ten months after that. Fortunately, we’re only going to wait three days…

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